STALELITE

This is the Part 2 of the joint post 'Jambite' - posted on Naijalines' blog several weeks back. I must confess that Naijalines has been a great friend,sister,motivator and virtual crush (this started when she started the virtual crush craze on blogville) since my sojourn into blogging began. I must also remind you that Naijalines and I graduated from the same university and same department(great coincidence) but I must also mention that she graduated in the 80s while I graduated sometime in 2007 (Naijalines,I prostrate in deep respect!).
From our contributions, I hope you will be able to appreciate the different periods and time span.


MUSCO
200 level created other ‘levels’ for cousin & I
We joined the league of BQ boys
Though we had to pay through the nose for it
We moved in and everybody thought we were rich guys
But we actually lived like normal guys drinking garri & cooking beans(once in a while)

U.I had become so conservative
Everywhere was silent & deserted after 9pm
Nothing interesting was happening on campus
Triangular life was the way
Class-Hostel-Fellowship
There was no main joint in the whole campus where students could hang out
After 9pm, you were at risk of getting your phone snatched
Security became a big issue

We defiled all odds
Moving around at odd hours wasn’t a big deal for us
The roads leading to female halls Idia & Awo knew us well
Apart from visiting the girls
The English Premiership & Champions League made Awo Hall a delight to visit
After visiting the girls & watching football
We branched at Iya John’s in front of Idia Hall to fill the stomach for dinner
This woman was a jack-of-all food
She sold everything from moi-moi, fried yam, akara, bread to fried meat
The table used for selling became a meeting point for many on campus
Girls were chased & toasted while akara was being sold & bought .

In my last two years in the premier University
I got involved in a relationship that generated a lot of gossip
A lot of friends believed
I was too cool and smooth for the relationship
It didn't work out in the end
I learnt my lessons though.

The club boys made Friday nights interesting with their convoys
Their penchant for lining up their cars in front of Idia & St.Annes added a little bit of life
Never went to a convoy party until after my final exams in U.I
We were still on the move to the party venue at 1a.m
Girl I was supposed to go with
Came to the take-off point with me but ended up
Zooming off in another guy’s car.


NAIJALINES
As a female stalelite, there was only one way out if you wanted a social life.
When bobos ask you if you're a jambite
Better say yes or you're dust
You see...a stalelite is like an adelebo*{1}
You are yesterday's news
So if you really like a toasterYou paro fun ni o*{2}
Then later ti o ba ti gba ti e*{3}
You drop the bombshell...gently

The same thing goes for party invitations
Do not tell guys the 'S' word
If you don't want to become party woodliceA.k.a. unwanted infestation
Lie, lie, lie if you want to go to the 'happening' parties in town.

I never really understood the 'discrimination' against stalelites
Except that guys liked fresh blood a.k.a journey just come
You see it was an advantage to guys
Particularly those with the worst reputations
If the girl does not know a boy is 'bad', she may not be on her guard
And so she becomes game a.k.a prey to the hungry lions

I remember Dr (Mrs) Ogunyemi
Our English Prose and Feminism Lecturer
Boy, she was good!
Her passion gave feminism a vibrant following
Boys frowned, girls cheered.
We danced with joy to Elizabeth's strength of character in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
We were all too aware of the injustice and oppression in Buchi Emecheta's Second Class Citizen...
so shocking...
Sexism in Nigeria's igbo culture intermingled with racism to become a woman's nightmare in far away England.
To this day, those two books remain staple favourites in my library

I remember Dr Ashaolu
Our English Poetry and African Drama lecturer
Everyone loved his lecturing style, his calm gentle manner
He was also my supervisor for my final thesis
It was a wonderful experience
I did not let him down. I did well.

I remember sharing a room with born again christians in my 3rd year
Actually they were cool once they realised I wasn't the fellowship type
I did my thing, they did theirs
My boyfriend was off to NYSC then
He was 2 years ahead of me
For some reason he thought it would be a good idea for us to take a 'break'
A.k.a. this is my year to sleep around before I come back to you
I did not argue. He had his 'break'.
By the time he came back, someone else was filling in, covering his 'break'
He was livid, I was amused.
"What's the matter?" I asked
"I thought you wanted a break, did you have fun?"
"It wasn't that sort of break", he snapped.
Anyway, he gave me an ultimatum
I broke up with the other guy
We got back together.
In hindsight it was a mistake
Ah...we learn, we learn.
A year later I broke up with Mr Ultimatum
We were meant to travel together to the UK and get married
We didn't make it
Such is life
Many girls had the same experience with 'NYSC break -up strategy'
Boys were so stupid then. Are they still like that now?

Uni experiences do shape and prepare one for the adult world
So much is learnt about oneself and relationships with others
The stalelite says goodbye to teenagehood and hello to full adulthood
Unfortunately, adulthood does not come with an instruction manual
You have to find your way.

Translations - Yoruba to English:
1. Adelebo - Married woman (just 'poetic licence' - no sexism intended or to be inferred)
2. You lie to him
3. Later when he's really into you